Today was my 21st birthday. I was so eager to get to the club on the bottom floor of the hotel so I kicked the elevator doors so it would move faster. Instead, the elevator stopped and went into emergency mode. I was trapped for 5 hours and missed my entire birthday party. Karma’s a bitch.

Today, I was in English class and turned around to tell my friend how bad the poem one of my classmates had written was. Since I was talking, the teacher called on me to read my poem that I had written 5 minutes before class. She gave me an F on the assignment. Karma’s a bitch.